How we treat ourselves in difficult moments says a whole lot about who we are. It’s simple to be on top of the world when things are moving and we would like to hold on to this feeling hoping it is going to last forever. Yet when it does not, it seems like we are bound to train paths with an oncoming train headed our way and not able to move.
How we behave towards ourselves in our darkest moment’s lays the basis for who we become later on. Self-love is a tricky concept for many to grasp. I have had innumerable coaching sessions with individuals who find it tough to love and love themselves. They become entrenched into our mind and nervous system and, if strengthened, are difficult to give up. However, difficult doesn’t mean impossible.
Is this something you have experienced? By way of instance, how can you treat yourself when things do not go your way? What’s your inner dialogue during those times? I have experienced pain and suffering during my entire life in the shape of losing my father to disease, a relationship break up, a health crisis and fiscal woes. There were times I found it hard to appreciate myself due to the despairing internal dialogue that convinced me it was my fault for being in this circumstance. I felt trapped, helpless and impossible to navigate my way out.
This is why I wrote my first book since it was a subject I had been intimate with and new well. However, I recognized that being trapped in my situation wasn’t who I am. It wasn’t the narrative I wished to live, nor succumb to. I knew somewhere deep inside me there was a presence yearning to express itself but I did not know how to get in contact with it. I wanted to love and nurture myself with compassion rather than negative self-talk. Gradually, I noticed my conditions started to shift and my internal dialogue changed when I began meditating. I had been an anxious person then, but this changed into a calm and peaceful man over the next several years.
The love within us expects you to come home to it. It’s your palace of refuge, a place that knows no boundaries, other than to get you in its arms and wake you to your authentic self. The self-love I talk of begins by recognising that tough moments don’t last. To love yourself through difficult times when there’s minimal growth requires you hope that what’s happening is doing this to help you give up the ruins of the past. It’s breaking down the tired and old methods of living a new base of love and strength can emerge from the authentic self.
The spiritual teacher and writer Matt Kahn provides us the wisdom in his book What’s Here to Help You: A Loving Guide for Your Soul’s Evolution that love is more than an emotion but a wellspring of compassion that resides within us and our job would be to bring it forth:”From a religious perspective, love is not an emotion we feel all of the time. Love is an unwavering depth of compassion and compassion that reaches inward to adopt our experiences-no matter how mixed up, closed down, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed we are inclined to be. When rooted in the vibration of love, we do not need to be totally treated to bring forth the care and kindness which resides within us.”
There’s a source of love within you that beckons one to connect with this. Do not take my word for it since it appears on your display. Unite with this loving presence by standing before a mirror and reciting the words:”I love you” the minute you finish reading this report. Recite them as frequently as possible because you are outside conditions don’t need to dictate the way you love yourself. The more you connect with this boundless presence, the greater it’ll be known throughout your lifetime. How we treat ourselves through hard times says a whole lot about who we are because who we are is a power of love. If we make time to get in touch with this presence more frequently, we’ll realise that our problems serve a purpose; to return us to the wholeness of our authentic self.